I Haven’t Been Following My Own Rules


I am going to premise this writing that I have no idea where I was this day, but it looks like it will be a wild ride for us.

I’ve been frustrated because I have not attempted to meditate because I had the same type of feelings due to an occurance I have had to recently go through. I’m not going to apologize but I am because that is me.

Fuck the Rules!!!

There is no rhyme or reason to thought. Why do you need uniform? These are my feelings and thoughts and you can not criticize. It’S fAcT!!! It’s Science. It’s reality. (I can’t even read my own writing at this point 🙂 ) Mindfulness, let me get back on track.




That’s exactly what I’ve been doing with writing. Without the rules. When listening to music with no rules. I’m just letting my water, my intuition drive my soul.

It’s been making me wet with desire to feel music like this. It’s arousing to be releasing all this emotion over and over again.

When you suppress feelings or emotions your not allowing yourself to ride the wave of life. Until recently, that was only “about a dream.” It’s so ironic that I am sitting here “breathing.” I’m sitting here meditating.” I’m releasing everything that is me. I’m not allowing my life to flow.

I’ve been the dam to my own happiness.

My own plug to my own bath.

I’m here to be 100% raw. I’m here to be 100% real. I’m here because this is my purpose.

Whatever your flavor of chaos you will understand this through.

(Air Supply Making Love Out of Nothing at All is playing as I type this. Somehow, this was not the arousing music I was referencing when I originally wrote this. Bahahaha)

I recently told two really important individuals to me to start this day with “gay hype,” and to dance. By gay hype, I meant “Call Me Remix by Ryan Remix” and then later on with “Proud Mary by Tina Turner.” Sometimes we easily forget to take a moment to hear the music. It’s not smelling the flowers. It’s all about healing. The only BE MINDFUL OF YOUR CHAOS way to heal is to be completely vulnerable with your mind and heart.

My point is Leann Womack said I Hope You Dance. Macklemore said And We Danced. Jennifer Lopez said Let’s Get Loud and J Lo says Dance Again. Big Sean says Dance A$$. Fallout Boy said Dance Dance. Ellen does it everyday.

We are all our own songs in our own soundtrack. We can chose to dance to that music or we can chose to be deaf to the notes.

All I know is I will be Dancing On My Own by Calum Scott.


Published by The Bee Keeper

I am currently on some type of spiritual journey to find and heal myself, in order to operate at my highest and start living my dreams. I am writing this blog through my perspective my own life and mental health. I hope to influence in a way, that someone can relate and hopefully take off some of the emotional burdens we all face.

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