The M***er F****ng Retrograde for a Cancer

Exactly… It always goes back to the buzzing of the bees

3-12-2020- Apparently, I no longer have a need to sleep. Maybe it’s the Bipolar talking. Maybe, I’m in a manic state. You are the ones trying to guess my diagnosis! It could be the sweet sativa Lavender Jones. I mean I’ve been meditating frequently, as well. So much to assist with me trying to find some type of guidance for this walkabout.

I mean I’m going through some shit. None of which I have cared to share, as of yet. This is because I have a plan. You will eventually know. I feel as if I have to do this all in a particular sequence.


This moon is messing with us Cancerians. There is another reason or excuse for my crazy this time. I am all over the place emotionally. My thoughts aren’t straight. Honestly, It really could just be the tides, hence the above song. This retrograde needs to go because it feels out of control. Similar to the adrenaline rush felt while skiing downhill after graduating from the bunny slopes. I no longer know my point. I guess I have no idea how to feel of a sane mind when the universe is experiencing such a huge change right now. I don’t know if I need to get these thoughts out of my head or to just write a poem. If you didn’t relate to the skiing reference then maybe you’ll be able to relate to the following: Pickup Sticks?, Alphabet soup before you act like your bull is a fucking word search????, Witnessing the monster kick over all 52 dominoes you spent an hour making just perfect????? (Are you still guessing?)

My feelings and emotions are chaotic. I always know these things. It’s almost as if I’m experiencing new emotions. I’ve never felt with no words to explain what’s going on. Maybe this is a reference to my glass soul from my last post. I feel incredibly see through. However, because I have been grounding myself with meditation, I feel very clear. Sane or crazy, you decide?

All I have are the songs

I hear the buzzing of the bees

I feel the vibration of my Heart Chakra

the burning of my Neuropathy

The crazy of my glass soul

The clarity of my sanity


Published by The Bee Keeper

I am currently on some type of spiritual journey to find and heal myself, in order to operate at my highest and start living my dreams. I am writing this blog through my perspective my own life and mental health. I hope to influence in a way, that someone can relate and hopefully take off some of the emotional burdens we all face.

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