Change is real if you want it to be. Over the past year, I have done some pretty ballsy things. I had to stop allowing behaviors that were not healthy for myself. Behaviors that were not good for any type of relationship. I have stuck to my vow of acting with full honesty and integrity. By doing this, it allowed me to learn so many life lessons that I have honestly fought up until today.
The subject, I have one hundred percent avoided this entire journey was talking about was any person, specifically. Individuals, a part of a cycle, that I had yet to complete. I am still going to be respectful and not go into detail. I had a win today. A proud moment I am able to see within myself. An accomplishment that I am proud of from the past year. It is my story to tell. If they want their side told, they can tell it with their own hands. Change is real if you want it to be.
Change is real if you want it to be. Oh shit, look who mastered not healing trauma with trauma finally!
The sarcasm less in my writing and my wisdom more. Is it wisdom or merely just my account of experience that shapes how my year goes? Only I, will be able to look within to find the answer. An answer to the question that will be irrelevant in mere minutes, due to my philosophical “high brain.”
I digress, constantly. Especially, when I speak and when I write. I question how so many words, in thought or typed out, form any logic. It is so much information packed into such a small timeframe. The crazy thing I did today that I considered to be a win is what I was talking about.
My first relationship, since my divorce threw me for another loop that I told no one about. Until today, I did not receive validation. This situation ship ended in November 2020. Not that I have not been over it. I just received the confirmation. It was like the first test of going drinking after you have quit smoking. You will wonder if you will be able to resist the urge to do so because social drinking does that.
Change is real because I wanted it to be. I reached out. I made sure there was not a reason I felt her in my thoughts. We are coming up on the timeframe this relationship entered my life, last year. She was good. I advised, “glad to hear you are good and have a good day.” I did not inviting any other conversation. I won today because I healed something completely alone. A situation that only brought me lower, at a time I was at my highest. I found faith where there was no faith to be found.