Here we are the eve of my 40th birthday. “This Woman’s Work, ” is playing in my headphones reminding me how good of a movie Love and Basketball was. I digress. Honestly, I feel like I am little Josh Baskin’s at the Zoltar machine about to make my wish. I spent the day reflecting on the past 10 years of my life. It has been rough, but the thirties were good to me and I am incredibly grateful for the lessons.
I have healed.
Now, it is the eve of my birthday and the New Moon is in Cancer. New moons are about new beginnings and manifestation. So I prepared my moon water. I wrote on my white piece of paper my manifestations. I only had one. Seems fitting that the moon energy is about wishes coming true and it is time to blow out my candles….
I Wish To Be “Big”
In a way, my wish to be big did come true. It is true what they say. That once you turn 40, you stop giving fucks. I chose to no longer “give a fuck.” It has a sense of peace that I am not used to feeling. From the beginning, I have spoke of riding the wave. At each stage of this journey, I have failed to truly learn the lesson of riding the wave. I have realized that somehow I have still been following the cliché of “faking it until I make it.” This is not allowing healing. It is not allowing me to forgive myself for playing a victim for way too long, in my life. It is about time I have learned this lesson.