It’s bullshit I still have 4 more of these to go 😀
I cause so much of my own anxieties. Did I say that right? Did I make sense? Was that the right thing to say? What if I stutter? What if i stumble over my words? What are they looking at? Am I giving enough eye contact? Do I have something in my teeth? How does my breath smell? What you just witnessed was my thought process during a one minute conversation with another human.
I have been in desperate to need to gain focus and to be able to be more present with just simple basic human interaction. If I continue to try to pull from my traumatized memory I will never complete this exercise. Technically, this is not even a story based off a successful accomplishment where I had fun, but there are no rules. My thoughts and writings are a story. My Story…. So I am pulling the memories from my current bank of thought where I have come to find more value in myself.
No one just chooses to just focus on being focused. It then becomes an oxymoron. One can not just simply focus solely on focusing on focus because one would then lose focus. That’s hilarious! Yes, I’m laughing at myself. So I had to approach learning to focus better with caution.
Environment controls so much of your focus, as does your current mood. In order for me to be able to narrow 10 thoughts down to a couple I had to learn mindfulness. I am practicing this because I downloaded Headspace. I can not and will not stop talking up Headspace. Go get it! I spent 10 minutes every day, repeating, if necessary, the basics of mindfulness. Breathe and feelings, breathe and feelings, breath and feelings…
With this I set the intention to just start focusing on reality and what was physically there. If I left it up to my mind, we would be going through the same 360 degree rabbit hole and I would be nowhere close to where I am going.
I don’t really need to discuss the outcome, in this situation. If you have been reading my blog then you have already been given the facts. I have given you the proof that my focused has increased. I have been living more in the present than in the past. My writing to you every day is an example. Go read my first blogs then bring your focus back to my more recent posts. Have my thoughts began to make sense? Are my points more valid? Are you following my meditation entries? Most importantly, have you noticed the difference in my mental health? I have and that is all that matters, in the end. This was my win for the day! 😀
P.S. I took this while in the middle of typing this post. I was listening to one of Aaron Doughty’s YouTube videos and the link above was the result of that quiz.