It’s Always the Darkest Before the Dawn
It’s always the darkest before the dawn. How fitting. For a little over a year now, I have been sitting, in a period of my darkest struggles.
I began this journey with an instinctual feeling of needing major change, to my life. Knowing, I had spent a lifetime, figuratively speaking, knowing I had not yet lived. An, opinion only of my own.
I lived a pessimistic mindset, in my past. A mindset that controlled my decisions. I had felt I had deserved all the traumas, I have experienced and don’t talk about. A balancing of karmas, so to speak. Little did I know how true that sentence, actually was. How much power it carried.
In the past, it was me sarcastically explaining the negative experiences, I had endured. Laughing them off, and not healing them. A behavior I use, as a coping mechanism, for the awkward moments, in life. The moments when I feel most uncomfortable. When I am completely exposed. The moments of being vulnerable.
Going back to the past year and a half-ish, I mean, I have been stuck or stagnant. I was blocked. I had a tremendous amounts of experiences than I ever felt I could handle. It happened so quickly. You know, those vulnerable moments I was explaining? The majority “not so fucking great!” However, it is the perspective of my pessimistic ego.
The minority, is from my perspective, of NOW, in the present moment. From the present moment, I have the most abundance I have ever had, in my entire life. I have thrived beyond measures, mentally and emotionally. Because of one choice, one decision, and one blink of the eye.
I chose to trust, all that was presented. Those lessons, I referred to last post. A change to perspective. The major change I felt I needed for years. It really is that simple, but this is my journey. Yes, you have the same choice, but your journey and experiences will be different.
I would do it, over and over again, if it meant to once again feel internal peace. My soul remembered. To feel what I do, right now, I would do it over and over again. All of the lessons were the abundance I am receiving. I have gratitude, for the bee. I found the dawn after the dark because “it’s always the darkest before the dawn.”