I feel like I always do this. I go and go, pushing all of me to a limit I never want to be at. This action causes a burnout internally similar to a sugar rush or a caffeine high and the comedown. The “comedown,” synonymous with the drugs and loss of a high.
The balance within myself is what I am questioning. With every activity, I gain interest in, I get that high then I give up. I no longer feel I have to put in the work to maintain the “high.” Just like with everything else and as cliche as it sounds, all you have to do is try. Trying is the maintenance necessary to keep rising up. It is the release of stagnancy most of us live with because of routine. A fear of change.
For me, there has not been the routine. There has not been the patterns that my small mind thrives on. I am lacking discipline. I am lacking the try. I have not figured it out so I am just going to write it out. Maybe you can relate? Maybe your words will be the answer to show my ego that it is time to take ownership of my own feelings.