I am looking on the journal page, next to the one I am currently putting my pen to realizing I am somebody else. The last time I wrote in my journal, was February 26, 2021. I sought out other outlets that served the same purpose, for reasons unknown. Since, I have made blog posts. I was just not documenting them.
When you are going through your spiritual awakening, everything is ironic. There were once days, that plagued my over-thinking thoughts patterns of guilt. It was a feeling of constant guilt that I was obligated to do everything. You learn that you are never obligated to do anything. It is a change that without notice, that occurs. The reason you stop paying attention. It could also be a change of perspective.
This day was very significant this time last year. A lesson that was not confirmed until I am sitting ere listening to Flora Cash’s “You’re Somebody Else.” The lyrics repeating just like every other pattern presented, in life itself.
Flora Cash-You’re Somebody Else
“Well you look like yourself, but you’re somebody else… Only it ain’t on the surface. Well you talk like yourself. No, I hear someone else though…Now, you’re making me nervous…“Lyrics from Flora Cash “You’re Somebody Else”
It reminds me that I never believed I would ever lose my obsession and codependency on someone else. This is my fault. I refused to learn the codependency lesson. I carried this lesson onto the next chapter. It was apparent into the next closest thing I had to a relationship since my divorce. Oh, but I have grown since. You best believe. I have been absolutely alone for a very long time now. Thank god!
Those lyrics I just wrote down can also be a representation, of my growth. It does not have to be a song about heartache. A lesson learned in itself. I am definitely no longer co-dependent for someone to show me of my worth. I am proud of me!